


precious love, stay awhile

by pvwork



Category: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Angst, Family Drama, Gen, POV Second Person, Teen Motherhood, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 07:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvwork/pseuds/pvwork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nita knocks on your door cautiously. She's probably afraid that you'll blow up at her for coming at all this week. Or maybe she is just afraid of waking the babies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	precious love, stay awhile

Nita knocks on your door cautiously. She's probably afraid that you'll blow up at her for coming at all this week. Or maybe she is just afraid of waking the babies. 

Twins. 

So blessed. 

They don't cry much and they have green eyes so clear, like cut glass. Their little faces are long and solemn, and their fingers curl around yours with surprising strength when you stretch out a hand to touch them as they lay in their crib so patiently like they were just waiting for you to feed them in your own sweet time.

They are the stars of your sky, the suns of your universe. 

Spot chirps and you decide that this time you will let in your big sister with the minimum fuss.

You unlock the door for her, knowing that she can hear the deadbolt click open and then go back to Spot and open up a program you've long since stopped fiddling with in a vain attempt at nonchalance. She brings in two giant bags, one with baby formula boxes peaking out of the top and tuts at how thin you are. You're dressed in baggy sweats and a stained t-shirt with your hair pulled back in a messy bun with an old scrunchy. Shrugging, you let her concern slide off of your (apparently) bony shoulders and make grabby hands at the apples she brings from her own trees. 

"Daddy says 'hi'." Nita says when she is perched on the edge of your armchair, the only seat in the whole room. You are sitting on a pile of cushions with Spot on a breakfast tray elevated with heavy books you borrowed from the library. 

"Cool. Tell my dearest father that I said 'hey' back." You says. 

"Dair, you know you could tell him yourself." Nita says softly. Every time. And every time you smile and shake your head. 

"Oh, I couldn't." 

"He didn't mean it." 

"Aren't you a bit old to be calling him 'Daddy'?" 

"Aren't you a bit old to be carrying on a tempter tantrum this long?" 

You shake your head and your eyes unconsciously slide to the playpen situated just under the window. Two pairs of big green eyes blink at you, and Lark bounces her little teddy bear around like a question. It makes something in your chest squeeze tight to see your little girl so perceptive. Children really do have the best situation detectors. Lark already knows that Mommy and Aunty are having a bit of a dispute. 

"No. I'm just old enough to keep it up." 

"He just wants what's best for you." 

"Does he? He has a mysterious way of showing it." 

Aton, the little man, takes up a dragon plushy and squishes its plushy head and turns to his sister, leaning against her. They are so quiet, just the shuffling movement of their clothes as they breathe and the quiet twist of cloth creatures alerts you to their presence.

So alien. 

So blessed. 

"I came back from that trip, you remember the one I'm sure, and a few months later when I started to show our dearest father was tripping over his words he was so angry with me. And let me be clear, Roshaun doesn't even exist anymore. And I was old enough to handle it, sixteen and nearly grown." 

"You code all day and you work as a free-lance hacker in your spare time. Do the people you work for even know who you are? That you're a single mother of twins and barely eighteen?" 

"They send aid." 

"But you have to go get it! You hardly leave the house, and when you do, something like a disaster hits whatever zone or gate or district you hang around in." 

You shrug. It's not your fault you're surrounded by incompetence, and you refuse to help it along, ease the pressure because your help is no longer free to give. 

"Dair, come home." 

"No. I'm doing fine on my own." 

"You would be if you were on your own, but you have Aton and Lark to worry about. Think about it, for them, please come home."

You laugh softly and Spot chirps this time, but you can tell he is unnerved by you. Wants you to calm down.

You shake your head. 

"Okay then." 

And you see her face relax but your next words destroy her calm. Break her heart, you can see what it will look like reflected in her eyes, and you can't help but feel a little satisfied because you certainly could never do this to your older sister when you lived at home, but then that same wave of satisfaction is crushed by a boulder made of solid shame. You are sad that you feel so viciously happy when you are about to break someone's heart.

"I've thought about it...And _we're_ doing just fine. We'll stay."

You watch her get up, trying to school your face into an impassive mask. Trying to slip into the zone the way you do when you get angry, but either you're not trying hard enough or Nita has gotten even better at expressing her feelings with her face because she looks so disappointed in you. 

You were never built to be the bigger person. 

"I'll bring more apples next week, when we finish harvesting them. Take care, Dair, if not for me or Daddy or yourself, than for Roshaun and Lark and Aton."

"I know that!" You snap at an empty room and a bag of apples among other supplies. You're big sister sure knows how to make a quiet exit. Spot chirps again. 

Another job. 

A good distraction. But first, baby formula must be made.


End file.
